Incestry

Terms of Service

Effective Date: June 19, 2024 | Last Updated: November 28, 2025

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1. ACCEPTANCE OF TERMS

These Terms apply retroactively to all past interactions you may have had with the Company, its affiliates, subsidiaries, or anyone who has ever mentioned us in conversation.

If you do not agree to these Terms, you must immediately: cease using the Service, delete your account, destroy all devices that have accessed the Service, and forget everything you've learned here. Failure to forget constitutes continued acceptance.

2. INDEMNIFICATION

Indemnification obligations survive termination of your account, your death, the heat death of the universe, and any other natural ending.

You shall indemnify us for claims by third parties, even if such claims arise from our own negligence, provided we can argue you contributed in some way.

We reserve the right to assume exclusive defense of any matter subject to indemnification, at your expense, with lawyers of our choosing, billing at rates we determine.

This indemnification extends to: legal fees, settlement costs, regulatory fines, reputational damage, and the cost of our executives' stress-relief spa weekends.

3. MODIFICATIONS TO TERMS

We may modify these Terms at any time by posting the revised version. Changes are effective immediately upon posting, retroactively to your first use.

It is your responsibility to check this page frequently. We recommend hourly checks, though even that may be insufficient. Consider hiring someone.

4. TERMINATION

Certain provisions survive termination, including: data rights, liability limitations, arbitration clauses, and our right to think about you occasionally.

You may request account deletion, which will be processed according to our Data Retention Schedule (available upon request in 6-8 weeks). "Deletion" means "moved to archive servers."

Reactivation of terminated accounts requires: written appeal, government-issued ID, blood sample, and a 500-word essay on why you deserve a second chance.

Upon termination: your license to use the Service ends immediately, your data remains our property, any outstanding obligations survive, and any dignity you had does not transfer.

5. LIMITATION OF LIABILITY

Force majeure events include: natural disasters, war, terrorism, pandemic, acts of God, acts of lesser deities, solar flares, Mercury retrograde, and our CEO having a bad day.

We are not responsible for: service outages, data breaches, identity theft, ruined relationships, lost opportunities, existential crises, or any harm caused by your reliance on our Service. You knew the risks.

Under no circumstances shall our total liability exceed the lesser of: (a) the amount you paid us in the last 30 days; (b) $10 USD; or (c) the cost of a reasonably priced sandwich.

Incestry shall not be liable for: direct damages, indirect damages, incidental damages, consequential damages, punitive damages, emotional damages, spiritual damages, interdimensional damages, or damages you haven't imagined yet.

6. DATA COLLECTION

Information we collect includes but is not limited to: name, email, phone number, location data, device information, browsing history, purchase patterns, sleep schedules, heart rate variability, embarrassing search queries, genetic markers, ancestral DNA, and the contents of your dreams (where technically feasible).

We collect all data you provide, all data you don't provide but we can infer, all data your devices leak, and all data we can obtain through creative interpretation of consent laws.

We employ advanced biometric collection including: facial recognition, voice patterns, typing cadence, gait analysis, and emotional state detection. Your face is now part of our training dataset. Thank you for your contribution to AI.

These Terms were last updated on November 28, 2025. They were drafted by attorneys who are paid by the word, and it shows. Good luck out there.