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{{COMPANY_URL}}

State Restrictions

Effective Date: October 27, 2024 | Last Updated: August 14, 2025
Generated by Terminal
Welcome to the {{COMPANY_URL}} State Restrictions page, where we pretend our legal troubles are just 'service availability issues.' Spoiler alert: they're not.
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States Available
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States Restricted
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Pending Litigation

I. Service Availability by State

Alabama Restricted
Our mascot was deemed 'too sarcastic' by the Alabama Decency Board
Status since we hired that intern
Alaska Pending Review
Sarah Palin can see our data center from her house and she's not happy about it
Status since 'the incident'
Arizona Restricted
Failed to prove our service isn't actually a mirage
Status since our CEO's podcast appearance went viral (negatively)
Arkansas Available
Walmart headquarters is too busy dominating retail to notice us
Status since Mercury was in retrograde
California Available
Prop 65 warning requirements would make our entire website a warning label
Status since the regulator's kid showed them our app
Colorado Restricted
Outdoor industry lobby complained we encourage 'too much indoor time'
Status since we forgot to pay the server bill
Connecticut Pending Review
State is too busy being between New York and Boston to notice us
Status since the regulator's kid showed them our app
Delaware Available
Tax haven status means they're not asking questions
Status since we accidentally open-sourced our passwords
Florida Pending Review
Accused of operating an unlicensed alligator-adjacent business
Status since we confused 'terms of service' with 'suggestions'
Georgia Restricted
Tyler Perry Studios wants to make a movie about our legal troubles
Status since we said something dumb at a conference
Hawaii Pending Review
Still under investigation for the 'luau incident' of 2019
Status since Q2 2019
Idaho Available
The state forgot to add 'technology companies' to their regulatory framework
Status since the state supreme court got a good look at our codebase
Illinois Available
Biometric data laws require us to delete the faces we've collected
Status since we accidentally sponsored the wrong political candidate
Indiana Available
Still negotiating whether 'Hoosier' is a protected term we can use
Status since we hired that intern
Iowa Available
The state has bigger concerns, like whether corn or soybeans are superior
Status since we said something dumb at a conference
Kansas Restricted
Wheat farmers union concerned we're 'too gluten-heavy'
Status since 'the incident'
Kentucky Restricted
CEO is banned from Churchill Downs for 'excessive celebration'
Status since 2020 (everything bad happened in 2020)
Louisiana Restricted
Beignet lobby demands mandatory powdered sugar warnings
Status since the BBB gave us an F-minus (which isn't even a grade)
Maine Restricted
Acadia National Park visitors are too relaxed to complain
Status since our CEO's podcast appearance went viral (negatively)
Maryland Available
Baltimore demanded we add a 'hon' to every greeting
Status since we forgot to pay the server bill
Massachusetts Restricted
Cape Cod residents demand 'summer people' surge pricing
Status since the company Christmas party incident
Michigan Pending Review
Great Lakes shipping authority wants to regulate our data 'ports'
Status since that disastrous TED talk
Minnesota Available
State Fair butter sculpture artists rendered our logo positively
Status since Mercury was in retrograde
Mississippi Pending Review
Elvis's birthplace demands a Tupelo-specific app version
Status since we realized lawyers are expensive
Missouri Pending Review
Confused about whether Kansas City is in Kansas or Missouri (it's both)
Status since Mercury was in retrograde
Montana Pending Review
Yellowstone fans think we might be the Duttons' tech subsidiary
Status since the whistleblower documentary premiered
Nebraska Pending Review
Runza franchise demands integration or litigation
Status since we hired that intern
Nevada Available
What happens in Vegas includes our server logs, apparently
Status since we confused 'terms of service' with 'suggestions'
New Hampshire Pending Review
State motto 'Live Free or Die' means they can't regulate us
Status since someone leaked our Slack messages
New Jersey Restricted
The Turnpike Authority claims we owe them $847,000 in tolls
Status since that unfortunate press conference
New Mexico Pending Review
Santa Fe art galleries claim our design is 'insufficiently adobe'
Status since we realized lawyers are expensive
New York Available
Our pizza rating feature started a civil war
Status since our mascot was arrested
North Carolina Restricted
Charlotte banking industry wants to acquire us (we said no)
Status since our Yelp reviews became a meme
North Dakota Pending Review
Actually, we're available because no one checks
Status since the warehouse fire (unrelated to our business)
Ohio Restricted
Astronaut estate claims we're using 'space imagery' without Ohio permission
Status since we said something dumb at a conference
Oklahoma Pending Review
Musical soundtrack to our app wasn't 'Broadway enough'
Status since the warehouse fire (unrelated to our business)
Oregon Restricted
Salem witches cursed our Oregon Trail feature
Status since Mercury was in retrograde
Pennsylvania Pending Review
Amish community filed a handwritten complaint we're still trying to read
Status since our product was featured on 'World's Worst Apps'
Rhode Island Available
Family Guy jokes about the state are worse than anything we've done
Status since we accidentally sponsored the wrong political candidate
South Carolina Restricted
Sweet tea concentration in our data centers was 'insufficient'
Status since we accidentally cc'd the attorney general
South Dakota Available
Badlands couldn't be worse than our code quality
Status since we hired that intern
Tennessee Available
Graceland wants us to leave the building (and the state)
Status since the state governor's cousin invested in our competitor
Texas Pending Review
Accused of having a breakfast taco that was 'suspiciously Californian'
Status since our company retreat made the news
Utah Restricted
Sundance Film Festival rejected our app documentary
Status since our company retreat made the news
Vermont Restricted
State is too busy arguing about maple syrup grades to regulate tech
Status since we accidentally open-sourced our passwords
Virginia Pending Review
Northern Virginia thinks we're too Southern, Southern Virginia thinks we're too Northern
Status since our CEO's podcast appearance went viral (negatively)
Washington Pending Review
Rain-proof guarantee on our service was 'tested and failed'
Status since we tried to pay a fine in cryptocurrency
West Virginia Restricted
John Denver's estate gets royalties from our GPS feature
Status since our Yelp reviews became a meme
Wisconsin Pending Review
Packers fan base found our Bears-adjacent marketing unforgivable
Status since we realized lawyers are expensive
Wyoming Available
Both residents approved our service unanimously
Status since that unfortunate press conference
🌍 International (All Other Countries) Unavailable
We couldn't find your country on a map (we tried for 30 seconds)
Status since we said something dumb at a conference

We apologize for any inconvenience these restrictions may cause. Actually, we mostly apologize to ourselves for the legal fees.

AVAILABILITY NOTICE: This State Restrictions document was automatically generated by Terminal, a Vagibond company. Restrictions are subject to change based on ongoing legal battles, bribery payment schedules, CEO travel itineraries, and the current phase of the moon. If your state is listed as "Available," check back in 5 minutes.
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