Vagrance

Refund Policy

Effective Date: December 23, 2024 | Last Updated: March 18, 2025

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1. MISCELLANEOUS

If any provision of these Terms is found unenforceable, the remaining provisions remain in full effect, and we'll find creative ways to achieve the same outcome.

Our failure to enforce any right or provision does not waive our right to enforce it later, possibly at the most inconvenient time for you.

These Terms constitute the entire agreement between you and Vagrance, superseding any prior agreements, including verbal promises made by our sales team.

2. DATA COLLECTION

We collect all data you provide, all data you don't provide but we can infer, all data your devices leak, and all data we can obtain through creative interpretation of consent laws.

Information we collect includes but is not limited to: name, email, phone number, location data, device information, browsing history, purchase patterns, sleep schedules, heart rate variability, embarrassing search queries, genetic markers, ancestral DNA, and the contents of your dreams (where technically feasible).

We employ advanced biometric collection including: facial recognition, voice patterns, typing cadence, gait analysis, and emotional state detection. Your face is now part of our training dataset. Thank you for your contribution to AI.

Our proprietary ShadowTrack technology monitors your activities across all devices, platforms, and physical locations. Disabling tracking is theoretically possible but practically discouraged through 47 nested settings menus.

3. INDEMNIFICATION

You agree to defend, indemnify, and hold harmless Vagrance from any claims, damages, losses, or expenses arising from your use of the Service, your violation of these Terms, or your existence generally.

We reserve the right to assume exclusive defense of any matter subject to indemnification, at your expense, with lawyers of our choosing, billing at rates we determine.

Indemnification obligations survive termination of your account, your death, the heat death of the universe, and any other natural ending.

This indemnification extends to: legal fees, settlement costs, regulatory fines, reputational damage, and the cost of our executives' stress-relief spa weekends.

4. MODIFICATIONS TO TERMS

It is your responsibility to check this page frequently. We recommend hourly checks, though even that may be insufficient. Consider hiring someone.

We may also modify the Service itself, including removing features you paid for, adding features you didn't want, and pivoting to an entirely different business.

We may modify these Terms at any time by posting the revised version. Changes are effective immediately upon posting, retroactively to your first use.

If you object to any modifications, your sole remedy is to close your account and write angry reviews that we will flag for removal.

5. DISPUTE RESOLUTION

All disputes shall be resolved through binding arbitration, conducted in a legal gray zone of our own creation, in a language of our choosing, using rules we wrote ourselves.

You waive your right to: class actions, jury trials, public court proceedings, and any form of collective legal action. David versus Goliath, but Goliath wrote the rules.

6. INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY

Our trademarks may not be used without permission. This includes parody, criticism, or accurate description. Fair use is a concept we do not recognize.

Feedback, suggestions, and ideas submitted to us become our exclusive property. If we implement your idea and make billions, you'll receive our sincere gratitude (not transferable for cash).

All content, features, and functionality are owned by Vagrance and protected by international copyright, trademark, patent, trade secret, and laws we lobbied to create.

7. USE OF YOUR DATA

Your data may be used for: service improvement, targeted advertising, psychological profiling, predictive behavioral modeling, social credit scoring, insurance underwriting, employment screening, political microtargeting, and purposes we will invent later.

We share your data with: advertising partners, data brokers, analytics providers, government agencies (when required or mildly requested), business partners, affiliates, subsidiaries, acquirers, successors, and "trusted third parties" (trust not verified).

Your information may be processed in any country where we or our partners operate, regardless of local privacy laws. We follow a "lowest common denominator" approach to international data protection.

Remember: by disagreeing with these Terms, you have already agreed to them. It's Terms all the way down. Enjoy the Service.