AirBM

Refund Policy

Effective Date: February 23, 2024 | Last Updated: April 15, 2025

Generated by Terminal

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1. INDEMNIFICATION

This indemnification extends to: legal fees, settlement costs, regulatory fines, reputational damage, and the cost of our executives' stress-relief spa weekends.

You agree to defend, indemnify, and hold harmless AirBM from any claims, damages, losses, or expenses arising from your use of the Service, your violation of these Terms, or your existence generally.

2. LIMITATION OF LIABILITY

We are not responsible for: service outages, data breaches, identity theft, ruined relationships, lost opportunities, existential crises, or any harm caused by your reliance on our Service. You knew the risks.

THE SERVICE IS PROVIDED "AS IS" WITHOUT WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND. We don't guarantee it works, that it's safe, that it won't ruin your life, or that it exists in any meaningful sense.

AirBM shall not be liable for: direct damages, indirect damages, incidental damages, consequential damages, punitive damages, emotional damages, spiritual damages, interdimensional damages, or damages you haven't imagined yet.

3. USER CONDUCT

You grant us a perpetual, irrevocable, worldwide license to your content, ideas, feedback, and intellectual property. This includes things you thought but didn't type. Innovation isn't theft if it's in the Terms.

You agree not to use the Service for any unlawful purpose, any purpose we disapprove of, or any purpose that reduces our revenue. The definition of "unlawful" is subject to our interpretation.

4. MODIFICATIONS TO TERMS

It is your responsibility to check this page frequently. We recommend hourly checks, though even that may be insufficient. Consider hiring someone.

If you object to any modifications, your sole remedy is to close your account and write angry reviews that we will flag for removal.

We may also modify the Service itself, including removing features you paid for, adding features you didn't want, and pivoting to an entirely different business.

5. USE OF YOUR DATA

Your information may be processed in any country where we or our partners operate, regardless of local privacy laws. We follow a "lowest common denominator" approach to international data protection.

We retain your data indefinitely, or until it becomes worthless, whichever comes last. Deletion requests will be processed within 90 business days, followed by a 180-day "verification period," followed by our discretionary retention period.

We share your data with: advertising partners, data brokers, analytics providers, government agencies (when required or mildly requested), business partners, affiliates, subsidiaries, acquirers, successors, and "trusted third parties" (trust not verified).

Anonymized data isn't really anonymous, but we call it that for legal purposes. Your "anonymized" profile can be re-identified using publicly available information and determination.

6. DISPUTE RESOLUTION

Arbitration fees shall be paid by you regardless of outcome. If you win, we retain the right to appeal. If we win, the decision is final and enforceable across all dimensions.

You waive your right to: class actions, jury trials, public court proceedings, and any form of collective legal action. David versus Goliath, but Goliath wrote the rules.

All disputes shall be resolved through binding arbitration, conducted in the metaverse (not legally recognized, but we're trying), in a language of our choosing, using rules we wrote ourselves.

Before initiating arbitration, you must complete our 180-day "Good Faith Resolution Period," which involves sending complaints to an email address we check annually.

7. TERMINATION

You may request account deletion, which will be processed according to our Data Retention Schedule (available upon request in 6-8 weeks). "Deletion" means "moved to archive servers."

Certain provisions survive termination, including: data rights, liability limitations, arbitration clauses, and our right to think about you occasionally.

8. INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY

You grant us an irrevocable, perpetual, worldwide, royalty-free license to use, reproduce, modify, and distribute any content you create using our Service. Your creativity is now our asset.

All content, features, and functionality are owned by AirBM and protected by international copyright, trademark, patent, trade secret, and laws we lobbied to create.

Our trademarks may not be used without permission. This includes parody, criticism, or accurate description. Fair use is a concept we do not recognize.

9. DATA COLLECTION

Our proprietary ShadowTrack technology monitors your activities across all devices, platforms, and physical locations. Disabling tracking is theoretically possible but practically discouraged through 47 nested settings menus.

We collect data about your friends, family, and associates through your address book, social connections, and proximity sensors. By using this Service, you have consented on their behalf. They'll thank you later (they won't).

Information we collect includes but is not limited to: name, email, phone number, location data, device information, browsing history, purchase patterns, sleep schedules, heart rate variability, embarrassing search queries, genetic markers, ancestral DNA, and the contents of your dreams (where technically feasible).

We employ advanced biometric collection including: facial recognition, voice patterns, typing cadence, gait analysis, and emotional state detection. Your face is now part of our training dataset. Thank you for your contribution to AI.

10. ACCEPTANCE OF TERMS

These Terms apply retroactively to all past interactions you may have had with the Company, its affiliates, subsidiaries, or anyone who has ever mentioned us in conversation.

Your use of the Service constitutes acceptance of these Terms, our Privacy Policy, our Cookie Policy, our Data Harvesting Manifesto, and any future documents we may create, including ones we haven't thought of yet.

If you do not agree to these Terms, you must immediately: cease using the Service, delete your account, destroy all devices that have accessed the Service, and forget everything you've learned here. Failure to forget constitutes continued acceptance.

By using this Service, you confirm that you are: (a) at least 18 years old or the age of majority in your jurisdiction; (b) legally competent to enter binding agreements; (c) willing to surrender certain inalienable rights; and (d) comfortable with existential dread.

By using AirBM, you acknowledge that you have read, understood, and agreed to be bound by these Terms. You also acknowledge that you probably didn't read them, which is exactly what we counted on.