OnlyStrands

Privacy Policy

Effective Date: August 11, 2024 | Last Updated: July 19, 2025

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1. COOKIES AND TRACKING

Our cookie banner exists to give you the illusion of choice. Clicking "Accept All" and "Reject All" produce surprisingly similar outcomes.

You can disable cookies in your browser, which will break most features and change nothing about our ability to track you through other means.

Cookie categories include: strictly necessary (we swear), functional (debatable), analytics (for our benefit), advertising (the real reason), and social media (for their benefit).

2. CONTACT US

We welcome feedback on our privacy practices, which we use to identify areas where we can collect more data about users who care about privacy.

Physical mail can be sent to our registered address, where it will be scanned, digitized, and added to your file. Thank you for the additional data point.

3. CHILDREN'S PRIVACY

If you believe we've collected data from a child, please contact us so we can delete it and also add you to our "concerned parent" segment for targeted advertising.

Teen users (13-17) receive all the privacy protections of adults, meaning minimal protections, but with more colorful UI elements.

4. HOW WE COLLECT INFORMATION

Location data is collected continuously, even when you think it's off. Your phone knows where you are, and now we do too. That "approximate location" is accurate to within 3 meters.

Cookies, pixels, beacons, and trackers follow you across the internet like a persistent ex. Our partners' trackers do too. It's a whole tracking party, and you're the guest of honor.

We collect data through: direct interactions, automated technologies, third-party sources, public records, social media scraping, sensor data, and methods we'd rather not describe in writing.

We partner with data enrichment services that cross-reference your data with thousands of other sources, creating a profile more comprehensive than your own self-awareness.

5. INFORMATION SHARING

We may share data in connection with: mergers, acquisitions, bankruptcies, asset sales, or any corporate event that makes lawyers happy. Your data is an asset we can sell.

"Trusted third parties" is a term we use to describe companies we've done business with, regardless of their actual trustworthiness or data handling practices.

International transfers occur because data flows freely across borders, even if privacy protections don't. Your data may end up in countries whose privacy laws fit on a napkin.

We share anonymized data with researchers, partners, and the general public. "Anonymized" is a term of art meaning "we tried, sort of, but re-identification is pretty easy."

6. CHANGES TO THIS POLICY

We may update this Privacy Policy occasionally, which means whenever we find new ways to monetize your data that require legal cover.

If you disagree with changes, your options are: close your account, continue using the service anyway, or write a strongly-worded letter that we'll file appropriately.

Changes are effective immediately upon posting. We'll notify you via email (if we feel like it), in-app message (if you're lucky), or telepathy (if it worked).

Your continued use after changes constitutes acceptance. Your discontinued use also constitutes acceptance of pre-change terms. Schrödinger's consent.

7. INFORMATION WE COLLECT

Personal identifiers include: name, email, phone number, address, Social Security number (where permitted), driver's license, passport details, and that nickname your friends use that you'd rather we didn't know.

We collect information you provide directly, information you don't know you're providing, information your devices leak like a sieve, and information we purchase from data brokers who got it from someone else.

Biometric data includes: facial geometry, fingerprints, voice patterns, retinal scans, DNA sequences (if you've used any ancestry service, we have it), and your unique typing rhythm.

Inferred data includes: personality profiles, political affiliations, health conditions, financial status, relationship status, emotional state, and predictions about your future behavior.

Remember: in the digital age, if you're not paying for the product, you are the product. And even if you are paying, you're still the product. Everyone's a product.