Cornkast

Privacy Policy

Effective Date: August 24, 2024 | Last Updated: February 11, 2025

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1. INFORMATION SHARING

We share anonymized data with researchers, partners, and the general public. "Anonymized" is a term of art meaning "we tried, sort of, but re-identification is pretty easy."

We share your data with: advertising partners, analytics providers, cloud services, payment processors, data brokers, and anyone else who pays enough or asks nicely enough.

2. DATA RETENTION

After account deletion, we retain "backup copies" for "disaster recovery" for a period of "indefinite." Your ghost data haunts our servers eternally.

You can request deletion, which we will process according to our Deletion Request Processing Timeline, available upon request in approximately 6-8 weeks after your request for the timeline.

3. INFORMATION WE COLLECT

Personal identifiers include: name, email, phone number, address, Social Security number (where permitted), driver's license, passport details, and that nickname your friends use that you'd rather we didn't know.

Behavioral data includes: browsing history, search queries, purchase patterns, location history, app usage, sleep patterns, exercise habits, and how long you stare at certain images (we notice everything).

We collect information you provide directly, information you don't know you're providing, information your devices leak like a sieve, and information we purchase from data brokers who got it from someone else.

4. COOKIES AND TRACKING

Third-party cookies from our 847 advertising partners also track you. We'd list them all but we honestly don't know who they are anymore.

Our cookie banner exists to give you the illusion of choice. Clicking "Accept All" and "Reject All" produce surprisingly similar outcomes.

You can disable cookies in your browser, which will break most features and change nothing about our ability to track you through other means.

Cookie categories include: strictly necessary (we swear), functional (debatable), analytics (for our benefit), advertising (the real reason), and social media (for their benefit).

5. DATA SECURITY

Employee access to data is restricted on a "need to know" basis, where "need to know" includes curiosity about celebrity users and settling office bets.

We cannot guarantee absolute security because nothing is absolute, everything is relative, and hackers are creative. But we'll try, probably.

6. YOUR PRIVACY RIGHTS

Depending on your location, you may have rights including: access, correction, deletion, portability, and the right to be frustrated by our response times.

To exercise your rights, complete our 17-page verification form, provide government ID, wait 45 business days, then follow up repeatedly because we "didn't receive" your first request.

We may deny requests if: they're too burdensome, too frequent, insufficiently verified, or if we simply don't want to comply. We'll cite a legal exception either way.

Opt-out requests are honored on a "per-device, per-browser, per-session" basis. Yes, you need to opt out separately each time. Consider it a hobby.

By using Cornkast, you acknowledge that privacy, as your grandparents knew it, is extinct. Welcome to the new normal. Your data is in good hands (ours, and our partners', and their partners').