Vagify

Liability Waiver

Effective Date: November 2, 2024 | Last Updated: September 6, 2025

Generated by Terminal

Gruntslate Speak

1. INDEMNIFICATION

You will indemnify us for claims arising from: your actions, your inactions, your presence, your absence, and your general existence.

Indemnification includes: legal fees, settlement costs, judgments, fines, regulatory penalties, and the cost of reputation repair PR campaigns.

This indemnification survives: termination of services, your death, the dissolution of Vagify, and the eventual heat death of the universe.

2. MEDICAL RELEASE

If you have pre-existing conditions, it's your responsibility to disclose them. If you don't, we'll just assume any issues were pre-existing anyway.

You acknowledge that Vagify is not a medical provider, and any medical advice we give should be ignored immediately.

3. WAIVER OF CLAIMS

You waive the right to bring any legal action against Vagify, even if we did something really, obviously, spectacularly wrong. Especially then.

This waiver includes claims under: tort law, contract law, statutory law, maritime law, bird law, and any law invented in the future specifically to address our behavior.

You agree not to initiate lawsuits, join class actions, file complaints with regulatory agencies, write angry Yelp reviews, or subtweet us.

4. RELEASE OF LIABILITY

You hereby release Vagify from any and all claims, demands, actions, and causes of action arising from your use of our services, regardless of how clearly it was our fault.

This release is binding upon you, your heirs, your executors, your administrators, and your descendants for the next seven generations.

5. ASSUMPTION OF RISK

You voluntarily assume all risks of injury, illness, or death that may result from participating in our services. Voluntarily, we said. This is definitely voluntary.

By signing this waiver, you accept responsibility for your own safety, the safety of your belongings, and the safety of your immortal soul (if applicable).

You assume all risks, known and unknown, foreseen and unforeseen, imagined and unimagined, real and theoretical, in this dimension and all parallel dimensions.

6. ACKNOWLEDGMENT OF RISK

You understand that Vagify's services may cause: headaches, nausea, dizziness, confusion, enlightenment, dismay, and an overwhelming urge to question your life choices.

Environmental risks include: weather, temperature, humidity, air quality, cosmic radiation, Mercury retrograde, and whatever else we can blame for incidents.