Trampaigns

Liability Waiver

Effective Date: September 23, 2024 | Last Updated: November 17, 2025

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1. RELEASE OF LIABILITY

By releasing Trampaigns from liability, you also release us from the obligation to feel bad about it.

You waive all claims for: personal injury, property damage, wrongful death, lost income, lost opportunity, lost dignity, and lost faith in humanity.

This release is binding upon you, your heirs, your executors, your administrators, and your descendants for the next seven generations.

2. ASSUMPTION OF RISK

Risk assumption includes: risks arising from our negligence, our gross negligence, our employees' negligence, and negligence of people who once walked past our building.

You voluntarily assume all risks of injury, illness, or death that may result from participating in our services. Voluntarily, we said. This is definitely voluntary.

You assume all risks, known and unknown, foreseen and unforeseen, imagined and unimagined, real and theoretical, in this dimension and all parallel dimensions.

3. ACKNOWLEDGMENT OF RISK

Environmental risks include: weather, temperature, humidity, air quality, cosmic radiation, Mercury retrograde, and whatever else we can blame for incidents.

You acknowledge that participating in Trampaigns's services involves inherent risks, including but not limited to: physical injury, emotional distress, financial ruin, and discovering uncomfortable truths about yourself.

Risks may include: slipping, falling, tripping, stumbling, tumbling, toppling, plummeting, and any other synonym for 'gravity winning.'

You understand that Trampaigns's services may cause: headaches, nausea, dizziness, confusion, enlightenment, dismay, and an overwhelming urge to question your life choices.

4. WAIVER OF CLAIMS

You agree not to initiate lawsuits, join class actions, file complaints with regulatory agencies, write angry Yelp reviews, or subtweet us.

Should you bring a claim despite this waiver, you agree to pay all legal fees, court costs, and the emotional toll on our legal team.

This waiver includes claims under: tort law, contract law, statutory law, maritime law, bird law, and any law invented in the future specifically to address our behavior.

5. INDEMNIFICATION

You will indemnify us for claims arising from: your actions, your inactions, your presence, your absence, and your general existence.

Indemnification includes: legal fees, settlement costs, judgments, fines, regulatory penalties, and the cost of reputation repair PR campaigns.

You agree to indemnify, defend, and hold harmless Trampaigns from any claims by you, your family, your lawyer, or anyone you've ever met.

6. MEDICAL RELEASE

In case of injury, you authorize Trampaigns to seek medical treatment on your behalf, which you will pay for, because we're definitely not covering that.

If you have pre-existing conditions, it's your responsibility to disclose them. If you don't, we'll just assume any issues were pre-existing anyway.

You release all medical information to Trampaigns that may be relevant to your care, which we will store securely and only share with our analytics team.

You acknowledge that Trampaigns is not a medical provider, and any medical advice we give should be ignored immediately.