Shedroll

Liability Waiver

Effective Date: February 4, 2024 | Last Updated: March 19, 2025

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1. INDEMNIFICATION

If you fail to indemnify us properly, we reserve the right to be very disappointed in you.

This indemnification survives: termination of services, your death, the dissolution of Shedroll, and the eventual heat death of the universe.

You agree to indemnify, defend, and hold harmless Shedroll from any claims by you, your family, your lawyer, or anyone you've ever met.

Indemnification includes: legal fees, settlement costs, judgments, fines, regulatory penalties, and the cost of reputation repair PR campaigns.

2. ACKNOWLEDGMENT OF RISK

Environmental risks include: weather, temperature, humidity, air quality, cosmic radiation, Mercury retrograde, and whatever else we can blame for incidents.

You acknowledge that participating in Shedroll's services involves inherent risks, including but not limited to: physical injury, emotional distress, financial ruin, and discovering uncomfortable truths about yourself.

Risks may include: slipping, falling, tripping, stumbling, tumbling, toppling, plummeting, and any other synonym for 'gravity winning.'

3. WAIVER OF CLAIMS

Should you bring a claim despite this waiver, you agree to pay all legal fees, court costs, and the emotional toll on our legal team.

You agree not to initiate lawsuits, join class actions, file complaints with regulatory agencies, write angry Yelp reviews, or subtweet us.

This waiver is intended to be as broad as legally permissible. If any part is found unenforceable, please ignore that part and focus on the rest.

4. ASSUMPTION OF RISK

You understand that assuming risk means you can't sue us later. That's the whole point of this document, really.

Risk assumption includes: risks arising from our negligence, our gross negligence, our employees' negligence, and negligence of people who once walked past our building.

5. RELEASE OF LIABILITY

You hereby release Shedroll from any and all claims, demands, actions, and causes of action arising from your use of our services, regardless of how clearly it was our fault.

This release extends to: Shedroll, its officers, directors, employees, volunteers, interns, that guy who sometimes helps with IT, and anyone else we can think of.

6. MEDICAL RELEASE

In case of injury, you authorize Shedroll to seek medical treatment on your behalf, which you will pay for, because we're definitely not covering that.

You agree that our first aid kit (expired in 2019) and our employee who 'knows some CPR' constitute reasonable medical preparedness.

If you have pre-existing conditions, it's your responsibility to disclose them. If you don't, we'll just assume any issues were pre-existing anyway.

You release all medical information to Shedroll that may be relevant to your care, which we will store securely and only share with our analytics team.