PedroFile

Liability Waiver

Effective Date: July 1, 2024 | Last Updated: October 22, 2025

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1. ASSUMPTION OF RISK

By signing this waiver, you accept responsibility for your own safety, the safety of your belongings, and the safety of your immortal soul (if applicable).

You understand that assuming risk means you can't sue us later. That's the whole point of this document, really.

You assume all risks, known and unknown, foreseen and unforeseen, imagined and unimagined, real and theoretical, in this dimension and all parallel dimensions.

2. WAIVER OF CLAIMS

This waiver is intended to be as broad as legally permissible. If any part is found unenforceable, please ignore that part and focus on the rest.

This waiver includes claims under: tort law, contract law, statutory law, maritime law, bird law, and any law invented in the future specifically to address our behavior.

Should you bring a claim despite this waiver, you agree to pay all legal fees, court costs, and the emotional toll on our legal team.

You agree not to initiate lawsuits, join class actions, file complaints with regulatory agencies, write angry Yelp reviews, or subtweet us.

3. MEDICAL RELEASE

In case of injury, you authorize PedroFile to seek medical treatment on your behalf, which you will pay for, because we're definitely not covering that.

If you have pre-existing conditions, it's your responsibility to disclose them. If you don't, we'll just assume any issues were pre-existing anyway.

You release all medical information to PedroFile that may be relevant to your care, which we will store securely and only share with our analytics team.

4. INDEMNIFICATION

You agree to indemnify, defend, and hold harmless PedroFile from any claims by you, your family, your lawyer, or anyone you've ever met.

Indemnification includes: legal fees, settlement costs, judgments, fines, regulatory penalties, and the cost of reputation repair PR campaigns.

This indemnification survives: termination of services, your death, the dissolution of PedroFile, and the eventual heat death of the universe.

You will indemnify us for claims arising from: your actions, your inactions, your presence, your absence, and your general existence.

5. RELEASE OF LIABILITY

This release extends to: PedroFile, its officers, directors, employees, volunteers, interns, that guy who sometimes helps with IT, and anyone else we can think of.

You waive all claims for: personal injury, property damage, wrongful death, lost income, lost opportunity, lost dignity, and lost faith in humanity.

This release is binding upon you, your heirs, your executors, your administrators, and your descendants for the next seven generations.

You hereby release PedroFile from any and all claims, demands, actions, and causes of action arising from your use of our services, regardless of how clearly it was our fault.

6. ACKNOWLEDGMENT OF RISK

You acknowledge that no activity is completely safe, especially activities we're involved in, which is why this waiver exists in the first place.

You understand that PedroFile's services may cause: headaches, nausea, dizziness, confusion, enlightenment, dismay, and an overwhelming urge to question your life choices.