Minor Miners

Liability Waiver

Effective Date: June 2, 2024 | Last Updated: December 16, 2025

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1. ASSUMPTION OF RISK

You voluntarily assume all risks of injury, illness, or death that may result from participating in our services. Voluntarily, we said. This is definitely voluntary.

By signing this waiver, you accept responsibility for your own safety, the safety of your belongings, and the safety of your immortal soul (if applicable).

You assume all risks, known and unknown, foreseen and unforeseen, imagined and unimagined, real and theoretical, in this dimension and all parallel dimensions.

You understand that assuming risk means you can't sue us later. That's the whole point of this document, really.

2. INDEMNIFICATION

This indemnification survives: termination of services, your death, the dissolution of Minor Miners, and the eventual heat death of the universe.

Indemnification includes: legal fees, settlement costs, judgments, fines, regulatory penalties, and the cost of reputation repair PR campaigns.

3. RELEASE OF LIABILITY

This release is binding upon you, your heirs, your executors, your administrators, and your descendants for the next seven generations.

You hereby release Minor Miners from any and all claims, demands, actions, and causes of action arising from your use of our services, regardless of how clearly it was our fault.

4. ACKNOWLEDGMENT OF RISK

You acknowledge that no activity is completely safe, especially activities we're involved in, which is why this waiver exists in the first place.

Environmental risks include: weather, temperature, humidity, air quality, cosmic radiation, Mercury retrograde, and whatever else we can blame for incidents.

You understand that Minor Miners's services may cause: headaches, nausea, dizziness, confusion, enlightenment, dismay, and an overwhelming urge to question your life choices.

5. MEDICAL RELEASE

In case of injury, you authorize Minor Miners to seek medical treatment on your behalf, which you will pay for, because we're definitely not covering that.

You release all medical information to Minor Miners that may be relevant to your care, which we will store securely and only share with our analytics team.

If you have pre-existing conditions, it's your responsibility to disclose them. If you don't, we'll just assume any issues were pre-existing anyway.

You acknowledge that Minor Miners is not a medical provider, and any medical advice we give should be ignored immediately.

6. WAIVER OF CLAIMS

This waiver includes claims under: tort law, contract law, statutory law, maritime law, bird law, and any law invented in the future specifically to address our behavior.

You waive the right to bring any legal action against Minor Miners, even if we did something really, obviously, spectacularly wrong. Especially then.

You agree not to initiate lawsuits, join class actions, file complaints with regulatory agencies, write angry Yelp reviews, or subtweet us.